Last week, Mr. Opposite and I decided to watch the Sex and the City II movie. Before I go on my tangent I want you all to know how big of a Sex and the City fan I am. I have seen every episode at least 100 million times. And the first movie, oh the first movie, when Carrie runs at Big and smacks him with the flowers, I cried so hard that I was heaving in the theatre. It would have been embarrassing if everyone else wasn’t sobbing as well. But the second movie, I have no idea what happened there. From expected jokes, to the worst karaoke song in a movie ever, the second movie fell so flat, that I’m actually upset that it was made.

However, there was a strong story line in it that many coupled up people are tested with, i.e. playing with fire. For those who haven’t sat through the disaster that was that movie, playing with fire is when you put yourself in a situation where you are increasing your odds of self sabotage. What’s that all about? Here are a couple examples: OMG, we went for dinner just the two of us, had lots of wine, then got in each others safe space and some how we kissed. I have no idea how it happened.  Or, I met him at his hotel for drinks and that’s all I thought would happen, but then somehow we ended up in his room and we had sex. Shocking. You met someone you are attracted to at their hotel and somehow landed on their penis. Quelle surprise.

First things first, for those who have done this, please stop acting like it’s an accident. You don’t accidentally kiss someone back. You don’t accidentally put a penis in your mouth. You may accidentally get kissed, but if you start moving your mouth too, you’re no longer innocent. Also, maybe ask yourself why you’re playing with fire anyway. Are you bored? Are you just a cheater? Are you actually that naive about human nature?

Several years ago when I was a single lady, an old flame was in the city and asked me to dinner. I said sure. However when he suggested his hotel I told him no way. Then when we were at dinner at a safe restaurant nowhere near where either of us were intending to sleep, I got it out of him that he had a girlfriend that he lived with. Creep. So, not only did this guy take an old flame to dinner, he wanted to take her to dinner in his hotel. Talk about jerk-face. I feel bad for his special lady and hope she knows she deserves better.

So for those who are considering going for drinks with someone they find attractive consider this:

• Would you be ok if your partner did this? If wouldn’t be then maybe don’t go.
• Will other people be there? If it’s just the two of you and you know the other has intentions, maybe don’t go.
• Does he want to stick it in you? Maybe don’t go.
• Do you want to sit on his lap? Maybe don’t go.

Really, if you want it to work with the one your with, it means they become the ones you go for drinks with. Not old flames. Otherwise you’re just asking for trouble.