Last week there were four women and two men in a room. At one point, we all got onto the subject of how we fight with our spouses. The women all seemed to be the same with our approach to fighting and we were pretty much aligned, and the men, well, they stayed out of it. What’s that all about? 

Anyway, for all you gents and ladies and others who are electing to read this, here’s a little insight on to how all us woman fight* so that you can come out of your next argument alive.

• Give us some space when we’re angry. We need this time to come up with a rational reason as to why we are actually mad. Sure I went off the rails because you didn’t turn the handle of the pot inwards, but really I was just upset that you didn’t seem to care about my safety. Duh.
• Once again, give us some space. I don’t know about you, but I’m prone to saying things I don’t really mean when I’m angry. So, if you let me cool off a little, maybe I won’t go ‘crazy’.
• Don’t call us crazy. We’re not crazy. We are angry. Crazy is just another term used to keep women down. Unless you’re about to put me in the nut house, never use this word again, or I’ll go crazy. 
• Jokes. Sure they diffuse the moment. Sure it’s good to level things out a bit, but sometimes, just sometimes, see the need to be serious.
• Jokes. They also work. So keep it up even if it frustrates us.
• Being cute and wanting kisses. We know, that you know, that it’s impossible not to kiss you when you make a kiss-y-face. Cut it out ok? We’re trying to be mad at you.
• Alright, you can keep doing this. But know when to use it and when not to, or you’ll lose your lips. You best not be thinking I’m crazy after that.
• H-anger is real. In a non-condescending way, provide us with some food. Then maybe after our blood sugar is all sorted, maybe we wont be so mad?

Well, we’ll still be mad. Because clearly you did something. We’re just not really sure what.

*Disclaimer: obviously I’m not speaking for all women. However, bolder statements are funnier so deal with it.