Being a Torontonian, it’s about time I weighed in on the Rob Ford Fiasco that is quickly unraveling before our eyes.

First things first, I don’t necessarily care about who does drugs…as long as someone is good at their job, I couldn’t care less about what they do in their free time. I know, that people say that he’s a public representative and should be held to higher standards, but is that true? I always just assume that a politician has something dark in either their past or their present. Look at JFK and Marilyn, Anthony Weiner’s wiener, Nixon’s Watergate, really, the list goes on and on when it comes to shady behaviour and politicking. So, this really shouldn’t be that much of a surprise. Anyway, I’m also not saying that Ford is good at his job, or that I want in him to run this city. I’m not saying that at all. What I’m saying is that I don’t really care about his use of illicit drugs. I am also not saying that I don’t think he’s a huge-idiot-wannabe-gangster who probably shouldn’t be running a world class city, when truthfully, that’s exactly what I think. Anyway, while watching all of this drama unfold, a thought came to my head that I’d like you all to ponder:

Tony Soprano vs. Rob Ford

Similarities:

• Affiliated with gang type behaviour
• Can be less than tactful
• Associates with criminals
• Affiliated with drug addicts (Christopher)
• Lives in a big house and drives a big car
• Friends get murdered
• Some weight and sweating issues
• Very rich
• Likes to talk tough
• Often says things he should regret

Differences:

• Works in the garbage industry
• Is careful with what he says to the media
• Is able to buy shirts that fit his neck and properly tie a neck tie

Nucky Thompson vs. Rob Ford

Similarities:

• Politician
• Doesn’t want to lose his political standing
• Affiliated with criminals
• Works with his brother
• Friends and associates get murdered
• Involved in illicit substances
• Very rich
• Has engagements with escorts

Differences:

• For the most, part good at keeping a clean public image (or at least tries really hard)
• Is careful with what he says to the media
• He’s very articulate
• He’s quite skinny
• Can perfectly tie a tie
• Can do up top button

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man vs. Rob Ford

Similarities

• Large white humanoid figure made of conjoined marshmallows
• Blew up and caused a big mess in a major city centre
• Appears to be friendly, but is in fact, a monster
• Has given up on the Windsor knot

Differences

• Stay Puft is fictional. Rob Ford is real.

What’s that all about? I’m pretty sure if you do the math here, this equation is accurate. I’d bet that the big man upstairs is watching down on Toronto as if it’s his own HBO series. That is all.