I don’t have kids. Some days I’m on the fence as to whether or not I even want any. However, whenever the subject of actually not having any comes up, I always know I want them. In my heart I know I do. Just not now. Not yet. I’m not ready. However, with all of the stories of bullying circulating the news lately it’s hard not to think about having kids and picturing your unborn child as a teen and what kind of person they will be like. On top of that, I wonder what kind of person I’ll be in 15-18 years? Will I still be the opinionated liberal who is very vocal about human rights? God I hope so. I know that as I grow up my experiences will guide me in different directions. And when I watch my potential unborn babies become people, will I have the strength to guide them and let them go all at once? I don’t know. What’s that all about? What I do know is that I can voice my opinions now, and when I look back in 15-18 years, hopefully some, if not all, of my ideals will have stayed the same because for the first time in my life, I like the person I’ve grown to be.

Dear Future Potential Teenaged Unborn Daughter,

• Love whomever you want. Boy or girl. Any race or creed or alien. Alien? Yes, alien. We have to had some ‘encounters’ by now.
• Don’t give yourself away to just anyone. Make sure that when you do cross the path to sexytown, that it’s with someone who makes you feel good. It’s not worth being with someone who doesn’t like you back. It hurts too much. As my mother always told me, like her mother told her, ‘if you don’t respect your body, no one else will.’ Oh and USE PROTECTION!!!!!
• Take care of your body. Not for appearances, but for health.
• Wait to get pregnant. Wait as long as you can. There’s so much of the world to see before you’ve totally devoted yourself to a child.
• Don’t go tanning. Skin cancer isn’t worth it. Embrace your paleness.
• Don’t be a mean girl. Making others feel bad about themselves will not payoff in the end. Sometimes it will seem easier to go with the crowd and mean-girl-it-up, but don’t do it. Makes you look like a jerkstore. Besides, if legendary Tina Fey wrote an entire movie about how terrible mean girls were, do you really want to be one? Yes, Tina Fey is retro, but she’s brilliant. Read her historic book ‘Bossypants.’
• Choose your friends wisely. Just because someone is ‘cool’, doesn’t mean they are a good friend. Friends are supposed to be there for you. Make you feel good. Tell you when you’re being an ass. They don’t leave you out. They don’t spread rumors. In general, they add more value, than they do harm.
• High School isn’t that important. I mean, get good grades, work hard, and try to have fun, but it’s just not that important. Say you live till you’re 100, if you’re in high school for 4 years, then that’s only 4 percent of your entire life. If you’re having a hard time, put your head down, get your work done and know that it’s a very short chapter in your life. You’re going to change so much over the years that when you look back, you’ll laugh at how everything seemed so detrimental and in reality, it was just a blip in your proverbial timer.
• If you’re having a problem talk to me about. I promise to try not to judge. And I promise I will love you no matter what. No. Matter. What.
• Forgive me sometimes. Remember that I’m growing up with you and that I’ve never done this before so I’m going to make some mistakes. I’m doing my best.
• You’re going to have your heart broken. It’s going to feel like the world is ending. It’s not though. Try not to punish yourself for too long and try to move on as fast as you are able. You’ll regret all that time you spent moping. Seems a bit harsh but one day you’re going to find yourself in a relationship where it’s all of a sudden easy. You’ll see why every failed relationship didn’t work out and you’ll be grateful that they ended when they did. It’s like that proverbial ‘aha’ moment. When your person holds you and you realize that ‘this is what it’s supposed to feel like.’ It’s wonderful.
• Help people other than yourself. Whether you volunteer, lend a hand for a friend, or visit your grandparents regularly, it will make them feel better and you will too. Really, it’s a win win.
• Having good friends is the key. Friends that make you feel good. Friends that you’re yourself with. Those are the friends you want in your life.
• Work hard. If you have a dream, work towards it. Regret is a terrible feeling. Believe in yourself. All of the successful people out there decided that they wanted something and went after it. If you do nothing, nothing will happen. Get moving now.
• Wear make-up. You don’t have to and you don’t need it but it feels good. Really good. And, it’s awesome that it exists.
• Don’t try to keep up with people you can’t afford. Paying off that debt will take forever and you won’t have much to show for it.
• Learn to save. Hopefully by now, I will have figured out how to do this and can be a good example, if not, don’t be like me. Save some pennies. Oh, you might not know what a penny is…save some nickles.
• Don’t bully. Don’t do it. Be nice to people. Even if you think they are weird, know that everyone has had different experiences and has different genes. Know that everyone’s idiosyncrasies makes them unique and makes them who they are. Besides, if you’re my daughter, you’re definitely a giant weirdo, so look hard in the mirror before you start calling names.
• Embrace the arts. They enhance your life in so many ways.
• Read. Read books. Read the news. Educate yourself.
• Watch Band of Brothers. It does a great job of showcasing the atrocities of what real hate can lead to.
• For the love of God don’t be racist. Don’t hate people because of their sexual orientation. Be open minded. Be accepting, not tolerant. Being tolerant, just isn’t good enough.
• Dance. Dance all the time. Not much in the world feels better than dancing.
• Don’t do real drugs. I get that you’re going to experiment within reason (READ WITHIN REASON!), but stay away from pills and powders. Too many people get swept away on drugs. Really, they become selfish assholes. And they sweat a lot. Last thing you want to be is a selfish sweaty asshole. Seriously though, don’t do drugs. It scares me to think about what terribleness could come if you do.
• At some point you’re going to ‘hate me’. Try not to have it last too long. I only want you to be happy.
• Make money, but don’t be greedy. If you become successful, pay your staff well so they can have a good life too. Share the wealth.
• Your teachers only want to help you have a good life in the future. Respect them. Study hard.
• Have fun. Have fun whenever you can.
• Enjoy food. Eat healthy most of the time, but don’t be afraid to treat yourself. Dining is one of the most luxurious experiences we can have. Don’t punish yourself if you’ve eaten too much.
• Love your body. It’s not going to be perfect. Accept that and love it anyway. Really though, who decides what’s perfect? A photoshop artist? Get over it and know that you’re beautiful. Because, if you are beautiful inside, you will radiate beauty outside.
• Learn to forgive yourself. You’re going to make mistakes along the way. We all do. It just called being human.
• Above all be kind. Kind to your family. Kind to your friends. Kind to strangers. Kind to your teachers. Kind to yourself.

Love, your future maybe mother if she ever decides to have kids.