Over the past few weeks, I’ve been really struggling with what to write.  But then, last night at 4:00am, it came to me it finally. I remembered my OAC (a.k.a. grade 13) biology project.

We had to create a Hester Dendy (I think that’s what it was called) which was a bunch of tin can lids strung together, and then throw it into Little River and take soil samples over 6 weeks. My partner Adam (we called him Bird – he’s 6’6″ and wicked at basketball) and I at the end of the six weeks packed up the car, put on our rubber boots and headed to Little River.

We arrived at our spot to only discover that where we threw our Hester Dendy, there was no longer any water. It was sitting in a pile of mud. After trying to pull it out and being unsuccessful, I had the great idea of walking out to grab it.

I climbed down the  mini cliff, got to the edge of the river and began to walk. It’s a very small river, about the width of a typical city street. When I reached the Hester Dendy, I picked it up and then I tried to turn around. But I couldn’t.

I was stuck.

When I realized I was stuck and was beginning to sink, I yelled out to Adam and began to laugh hysterically.

As I laughed, I  sank even deeper.  Then I got scared. I mean, who wants to be sinking in a river? And on top of that, that river was once in Macleans magazine because of how polluted it was. SICK!

Adam and I weren’t sure what to do. Does he leave to go get help (this is before everyone had cell phones)? Does he try to save me?

We decided that the best idea would be for Adam to come and pull me out. In hindsight, this probably wasn’t the ‘best idea’ as he could have gotten stuck too, but being 18, this was the only logical choice.

Our Plan:

Gather sticks.

Lay them out on the muck.

Walk on them to distribute weight.

After nearly falling a few times, Adam finally reached me and pulled me out. By the time he pulled me out of the river, I had sunk all the way to my crotch. What’s that all about?

I then had to walk over to his car, take my pants off and wrap myself with a garbage bag. At that point in my life, it was the funniest, most embarrassing moment I had ever had. I couldn’t get the smell of swamp off me for days. I must have taken 15 showers in 3 days.

Pretty much, I’d put money on it, that you’re thinking right now “what the F is wrong with this girl”. I know I would. I’ll just explain it like this:

I’m special.