Grandmas,

Let me first start with a thank you, and follow it up with an I’m sorry, and follow that up with an “it’s not you, it’s us.”

Words cannot express just how grateful we are that you love our babies. That you want to take care of our babies. That you will do anything for them. It not only makes our babies feel loved, but it makes us feel loved by how much you love them. I’m not even sure if what I just said makes sense, but I’m sure you get it. You’re our moms.

Watching our children smile at you and love you is so special. Knowing that there are people out there that love our children almost as much as we do, like 99.99% as much as we do, melts our hearts in ways that we can’t express. The fact that you’ll drop everything to watch them, that you don’t mind changing diapers (sometimes you even want to), that you want to feed them and make sure they are warm is one of the greatest gifts we could ever be given.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

I’m sorry that we watch over your shoulder as you change our babies diapers. That we give you a list of 1 million things to ensure that our baby is safe, as if you’d never raised a child before. I’m sorry that we snip at you. I’m sorry that we can’t stop this behaviour. I’m sorry that sometimes it seems like we take you for granted and that we don’t trust your judgement. We do trust your judgement I promise, but there’s a lot of anxiety with having a child, I’m sure you remember from when we were little. Especially just how hard it is to entrust someone that isn’t us with the care of them. I’m sorry we get jealous when it seems like you can settle her better than we can. Or when she looks super cute while you’re holding her so we take her back from you. Or when she’s upset and we don’t even give you a chance to settle her. I’m sorry that sometimes you take suggestions as musts and it only makes the baby more upset. I’m sorry if we don’t tell you we love you as much as we should. And that you’re here when we’re most stressed out so you often get the brunt of our anger. 

We know you are more than capable of watching our child. We just don’t act like it. Because you’re not us, so we’re nervous. Because you do things differently than we do. We know this is ok, but we don’t act like it. We know you’ve successfully raised your children, and have helped with numerous other children. But we can’t help ourselves. It’s our mama bear and papa bear instincts. It’s our insecurities, our jealousies and our tiredness. It’s not you. 

Maybe as we get older and grow up with our children, maybe then we’ll be less demanding, less micromanaging. Hopefully anyway.

Because it’s not you, you’re wonderful. It’s us. 

Love,

Moms and Dads of young children everywhere.