Holy moly colic is a real b-word. My lovely little monster, literally gets kinda monstrous most nights between the hours of 6-10. My sweet angle who looks up at you with a blue steel gaze in the day becomes mostly inconsolable in the evening. Luckily not every evening, but a lot of evenings and 3-5 hours of pretty much solid crying feels unbearable.
The story of Colic, by the Non-Mom
Sweet, sleepy, smiley, hungry and most of all CUTE, that’s my girl.
She wants to eat again, then is super alert and playful. Gives me some smiles, likes to look around and then, it happens.
She wants boob so she cries instantly. Doesn’t even give us the warning of smacking her lips and sticking her tongue out. Instant starvation and mad tears. After a little consoling, she gets on the boob. Then half way through decides she doesn’t want the boob and starts crying. Then she decides she wants the boob and starts crying. Nope, doesn’t want the boob anymore. So on the shoulder we go.
Doesn’t want to burp. Then the lap. Still doesn’t want to burp. Then the shoulder again. She chills for two minutes, then nope, doesn’t want the shoulder. Sucky? Yes. Sucky. No. Does she want the colic hold? Nope. Does she want to be sitting up? Nope. Does she want to be dangling? For 30 seconds yes, then nope. Bounce. Bounce. Sway. Sway. Nothing.
Ok, how’s her diaper? It’s clean. Is she still hungry? She didn’t really eat much. Yes, she’s hungry. Oh wait, nope. Would she like her swing? Nope. Playmat? Nope. Does she want to be sung to? Definitely no. Oh wait, nope, still nope. Sucky? Yes. Sucky. No. Ok, maybe we can play rainwater for her? That seems to work. Just kidding. Maybe I’ll bounce her. Yes this is working. Her eyes closing, she seems so tired. Oh god, she’s wide awake. Bounce. Bounce. Sway. Sway. Nothing.
And, again. Bounce. Bounce. Sway. Sway. Oh my, she’s sleeping. OK, let’s get her to bed. She’s in bed. Success. Nuh-uh. She’s up. Bounce. Bounce. Sway. Sway. Lights off. Singing. No singing. Shhhhh. Shhhh. She’s a sleep. Are you sure? Yes. I’m sure. Into bed she goes. Sleeping. No, she’s starting to stir. Sucky? Yes. Sleeping!!
Thank. God. It f-ing worked.
What’s that all about?