For the last 25 days, Mr. Opposite and myself have successfully kept our little peanut alive! She’s the cutest little monster that has ever existed ever. She grunts, eats, sleeps, poops and cries. Sometimes she smiles, but unfortunately at her age I know that it’s gas and not a real smile. So far it’s been incredible and also incredibly hard. Not keeping her alive, that part seems to be a little natural, but learning her moves and countermoves has been challenging. She’s a professional strategist who excels at wanting to eat, but not wanting to eat and crying so hard mommy and daddy look like they’ve been electrocuted.
I had my elective cesarian on November 18th and let me tell you: It. Was. Awesome. Mind you, it was major surgery and I’m still in recovery. But, it was a calm experience (something very important for this stress case) and my incision doesn’t look too gross. AND when I sneeze, I no longer pee a little, I don’t have stitches on my favourite body part and the numbness I feel is in my abdomen and not in my hooha! Overall this girl is happy and if someone asked me if I would do a c-section again, I’d tell them ‘hands down yes’. Sure I need a little extra help and I can’t drive, but I would have needed extra help anyway (this is my first baby) and it’s winter now so driving is scary. But having the ability to make jokes to the surgeons as they cut me open and looking into my husband’s eyes as we heard her sweet first sounds, followed by her intense first cry was incredible. It was the best moment of my life, and I LOVED getting married. So that’s huge that I sad that.
So far, this parenting thing is as hard as it is rewarding. Actually, it’s way more rewarding than hard, but I’m tired today, we slept terribly last night. My nipples hurt, my back aches, but my heart pounds when she’s in my arms. It literally beats with the most love I’ve ever felt. Everything she does is the cutest thing on earth. And those eyes tho. She’s absolutely perfect. Perfect to us anyway.
So far this is what I’ve learned in regards to this whole momming thing:
- It’s all about little wins. Sunday night, after she fed from me for three and a half hours, she finally went down at 11:20. She then woke me up at 4:30! She slept for 5 hours. I know at three weeks this can’t be a regular occurrence, but let me tell you how much I needed that. I also put makeup on yesterday. Another win.
- Leaving the house takes three hours. Actually three hours. Just when you think it’s time to walk out the door, she’s hungry or pooped again, or is hungry and pooped again.
- Any little change is scary until you google it. Then it’s either scarier or you feel better.
- How is it possible to love anything this much? I could hold her ALL day.
- Showering is actually a luxury. And I finally appreciate it for what it truly is. A mini spa treatment.
- I don’t know about you but I love my husband more and more with every cute thing she does because we made her. She’s him. She’s difficult and snuggly. She’s warm and screamy. She’s sweet and adorable. She’s absolutely wonderful. Just like her daddy.
- It sucks not being able to carry the car seat with her in it. While I’m all about the section, that part really sucks. Kinda renders you helpless a bit.
- She smells so good, except when she doesn’t. Yuck. But let’s be serious, it’s the cutest yuck on earth.
- Breastfeeding is god damn hard. What’s that all about? How is something so “natural” so unnatural to do? Also, apparently I have short nipples, so she won’t latch to me because she’s an instant gratification girl and I need to use a nipple shield. And while these things are great, they are also not great. But at least it makes it so she can eat from me. Again, little win.
- Growth spurts are painful for parents too. This explains the three days where anytime her eyes were open she was crying.
- God she’s cute.
- She doesn’t look like me at all. I just want someone to look at her and say, “Oh she looks just like you.” But that’s never going to happen because she looks exactly like her daddy.
- I always found it so gross when a baby would come out with a lot of hair. Then our girl came out with a mound of black hair and she was perfect and not gross. So I take that thought back.
- I get jealous when she’s calm in someone else’s arms.
- I’m totally going to get into Live with Kelly, Your Morning, and Ellen. I always loved Ellen, but these morning shows sure are growing on me. I’m totally momming it out.
- The day after she was born the nurse asked me her name and I forgot. I still have guilt around that.
- Burping her is tough. She just wants to keep that gas in and be uncomfortable. It’s her jam.
- No day is the same.
So there you have it, 25 days down. Two unrested parents, two slightly abused grandma’s (sorry) and one happy baby. Life is good people, life is good.
Note: I won’t have a computer after this week so posts will be few and far between. I’m thinking about setting up a GoFundMe page because I really need a MAC and I don’t know how I won’t be able to write while experiencing all of this.