The other week I had a coffee with a woman who I completely admire. She’s the kind of feminist that we all should aspire to be. Not full of anger, but full of promise, independence, and confidence. She was telling me a story about a time when a senior colleague, said something awful, and when he apologized he said “I’m sorry, I just think of you as one of the guys.” Which, rightfully so, angered her even more. What’s that all about?
When I was younger, I really wanted to be “One of the Guys.” I thought that was the epitome of coolness. This is probably because when I was younger, it was the guys who dictated who was cool and who wasn’t. Truthfully, I always had a lot of male friends growing up, I think it’s because I was kind of funny, I would let things slide that maybe I shouldn’t have, and I wasn’t deemed as a sexual conquest to them because I think most of them thought of me as asexual.
That said, the older I got, the more I realized that I don’t want to be one of the guys. I mean, being a guy is cool, but I’m not a guy, I’m am a woman. A badass, name-taking, breadwinning, smart, confident, sexy, awkward, super funny, not-perfect woman. And that, to me, is the epitome of coolness. It’s amazing what you learn by the time you’re in your mid 30’s isn’t it?
Anyway, here are a five reasons why I no longer want to be considered one of the stereotypical guys:
- Sexist jokes aren’t funny. Sure I’d laugh at them when I was younger, because I was an insecure-ill-read-naive-dummy, but I realize now that I was foolish, and they are foolish for thinking them.
- Being a girl rules. Mega rules.
- We’re equal, but we’re different, and that’s what makes the male/female dynamic awesome.
- Why would I want to be one of the guys? Or really one of anything. I’m a millennial (kind of) so I well aware of how special I am. Award for showing up – check!
- You can take your Boys Club and shove it up your irrelevant butts. The world is changing and if all those Boys Clubs don’t come around and become Awesome People Clubs, they will be left behind in our dust.
So, there you have it. F-the Boys Club. Their numbers are dwindling anyway.