Packing on the lbs, or as many people know them, pounds, are a slippery slope in the terms of what you can, can’t, should and shouldn’t say to your partner(s). The bracketed “s” is for those in a sisterwives or open kind of scenario.
Over the course of your relationship with your partner, your body changes, no matter if you workout, eat healthy or do none of the above. Whether it’s weight gain, drooping breasts, or sagging skin, no matter what you do, aging will always prevail. With that in mind there things that you can do to minimize the damage. For one, you don’t have to get fat if you don’t want to. You totally can if you do, but if you don’t want to, there are always lifestyle changes that can be – what’s the opposite of easily…um oh I know – difficulty made.
However, there are times in your life when you are not mentally able to be your physically best self. Sometimes, the thought of putting another quinoa salad to your mouth makes you want to vomit. The problem lies in the fact that we don’t know how to communicate to our loved ones when we’re concerned about their complete and utter total unhealthiness. For example, I haven’t worked out since before my wedding. Which was 6 months ago. I am now slowly turning into a mushy blob of mashed potatoes. I know this. I’m not happy about it. But I’m also not ready to “hit the gym”.
That said, many of us gain weight throughout our relationships. Some of us gain a little (I’m hoping this is me), and some of us change figures completely. And within 10 years, we have a completely unrecognizable body type from when we first met our partners. What I wonder is, when is it ok to say something to your loved one about the fact that it’s time they think about “reducing” because it looks like they are going to bring on adult onset diabetes or have a heart attack? It’s a delicate subject because nobody likes to think their partner thinks they are fat. Even when they are. What’s that all about?
The only thing I know about this subject really is what not to say:
- Hey Chubbo! – This is a horrendous way to greet someone you’re supposed to love.
- Out of context, “babe, you’re really getting fatter.” – Talk about a downer. This would take your partners good mood and change it to a murderous one.
- Your butt is getting huge. – Uhhh thanks?
- Nice gut. – You’re going to die.
- Have you put on weight? – Have you lost your will to live?
If any man, woman or child said any of the above to me, they maybe would not be found living by the next day. The way I see it, is that it’s so unsafe to bring up, there needs to be other ways of doing it. Perhaps through trickery:
- Let’s go for a walk tonight after dinner?
- I’m making fruit salad for desert!
- I could go for a nice spinach salad with chicken for dinner. You sit down, I’ll make dinner.
- Let’s join a sportsing team together and sports together.
See, all of those things imply “let’s get off our asses and get moving while not eating McDonald’s.” This approach is less like, hey I’m starting to think you look horrible to me and more like, let’s get active together. Getting active together is way nice. I think you need to focus first on what’s beautiful about your partner and also, introduce your general concern for their health. Because if someone is unhealthy, they won’t live as long as you and the goal is to die at the same time am I right? That said, I’m pretty sure however, if after this post, Mr. O starts asking me to go for walks after making us a salad for dinner I’ll know that he’s worried about my heart attack potential.