In 1994, Hollywood came out with a moving starring Arnold Schwarzenegger called Junior. From what I can remember, they scienced the crap out of the birthing process and Arnold, sorry, Dr. Alex Hesse got knocked up. This was amazing to me. And while I was 12/13 when this came out, and I knew that men couldn’t get pregnant, this dream is something I have never let go.
Now that I’m married and 34 there are a lot of realities that I have to face. First being, if we want kids, we need to start trying sooner than later. I know that women are having babies well into their 40’s now, however, if I can’t get pregnant without crazy injections, then I don’t really want to get pregnant. I don’t want it that bad.
In all honesty, I’ve never been someone who has ‘dreamt of being a mom.’ I’ve dreamed of becoming famous, seeing the world, making lots of money and eating all the food, but parenting for me, has always been a side thought. Like, of course I want to have kids…one day. In fact, my entire life, anytime I’ve seen a woman give birth on TV I have thoughts of total fear and how that giving birth looks like it’s the worst possible thing anyone could ever go through. What’s that all about? The worst. I just don’t understand how anyone could want to go through that. It looks horrible.
I also think things like, how my boobs will no longer only be there for pleasure, or how I could loose all feeling in my nether region, oh and the stretch marks, oh the stretch marks. It took years for my pubescent stretch marks to fade and now I’d have to go through that all again? What total and utter bullshit.
The fact of the matter is, if I ever am blessed with a baby (which one-day I do want), I DO NOT want to be aware of the birth. I want to go to sleep, and wake up with a baby to hold. If a stork could drop off a baby that has mine and Mr. O’s genes, that would be even better. Although, being pregnant doesn’t seem that scary (other than the stretch marks). However, I like to drink wine sometimes, I love prosciutto, I like to dye my hair and I LOVE coffee and I really don’t want to give any of those things up ever. Like ever. And I may end up being the pregnant lady who has a half a glass of wine and ops for a C-section. This wouldn’t make me any less of a mom than someone who avoided all the things and did a natural birth, it would make me someone who knows what I can and cannot handle.
That said, in a perfect world, Mr. Opposite could get pregnant. I could keep my average body (great legs, nice rack, iffy middle section), and keep working and getting more clients, keep filming projects and writing more scripts. I could be a dad. I’d be a great dad.