I’m sorry that in the past I have neglected your needs. That I put watching TV, partying and reading above you. I truly regret, not appreciating you when you came to me so easily. When sleeping until rested was just something that was done and not thought of. I never thanked you for your tireless work. I just took advantage of you, thinking you would always be there for me. I realize now, that it was a mistake. You are not something to be taken for granted. You are a blessing. A need, not a want. You are a gift, not a nuisance.
I need you more than you realize. You keep me sane, you make me feel beautiful and you have a unique ability to keep me from gaining weight. You are magical. You make my skin look brighter and hair look shinier. You keep me from overreacting and you give me the ability to think clearly.
I know that in the next phase of my life I will need you more than I’ve ever needed you as the opportunities for us to connect will become fewer and farther between. In the next few years you will be the most important thing in my life and you will be so hard to come by. So, I need to you to forgive me and come back to me. Over the last few months, you have been a fair-weather friend to me. Making me need you early in the evenings and then keep me up through the night. I wish so much that you and I could come to a mutual agreement where I respect you and you come back to me. I need your support. I need you to be a person.
I am going on night five of you not really being there for me. And sleep, I need you to come back. We can work through this. I will be better to you and listen to your needs. I won’t read a screen in bed, and I will crawl into bed whenever you need me to. I promise. I will be there for you. I know it’s going to be hard for you to forgive me for all of the terible things I did in my 20’s and how I didn’t respect you the way that I should have. I know I missed nights of sleeping completely and I know that I went to bed by way of alcohol far too often. But can’t you see I’ve changed? I’ve grown. Haven’t I? I call to you before midnight 95% of the time. I attempt to visit you for 7-9 hours a night don’t I? Isn’t that enough of an effort? Can’t you see I’m trying? Can’t we make this work?
Anyway Sleep, please know that I love you. And that I’ve always loved you even when I didn’t act like it. I will go the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. So I hope you will come back to me. Because Sleep, you are my soulmate. I can’t live without you.
A tired mid-thirty something who hasn’t even had babies yet.