I know that there are some people out there who, in their 20s, didn’t really party. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Everyone lives the way that’s best and/or not best for themselves. But for me, and those who were also like me, my twenties, especially early 20s, consisted of shots, rye and cokes and slurred words. It was my early 20s when I realized that I can’t drink rye/whisky products in public. Why you ask? Because there are two Jen’s on rye/whiskey. One is the life of the party, who almost seems as though she’s taken an illegal substance, and the other gets so over-heatedly angry and cries a lot. Over anything. And since nobody likes the latter rye/whiskey is something that is no longer allowed to be consumed. I think this is a logical decision. That said, on my 31st birthday, I was making hot cider with a scotch/whiskey blend I got from my granddad. That night it seemed like I was on drugs and I was happy. Maybe because I am happy I could consume it again, that said, not worth the risk. For your sake anyway. Unless you like to play Drunken Roulette.
Anyway, this past New Years Eve, I celebrated in a way that I haven’t in probably about 5 years. I truly let my hair down and spilled an entire glass of red wine down my white pussy-bow blouse. I also fell down the stairs. What’s that all about? I’m 34 years old and I got so drunk that I fell down the stairs. This is not acceptable behaviour for a full on grown up, am I right? The other day, I ran into another friend (she’s 35) and she made me feel better by saying that before the holidays, she consumed so much that she threw up. She couldn’t remember the last time that had happened. This is probably because her 20s were half a decade ago and this is not a regular occurrence for those in their 30s. She laughed about it, but said she it with a hint of shame – like me and the staircase and the judgement I showered all over myself. That said, it made me feel better.
It got me thinking. Now that I’m well into my 30s, I realized that I don’t “party” that often or for that matter, I don’t party at all anymore. Drinking for me has changed drastically. I will have the odd glass of wine after work, or I’ll meet some friends, have 3 drinks and send myself home because a buzz came on. It got me thinking about how my wild youth and my partying ways compares to my tame-ish adulthood. So, without further ado, below are the differences I have observed between drinking in my 20s vs. drinking in my 30s:
- 20s: All the shots! I want straight vodka and I want six of them.
- 30s: Most likely declined. However, if accepted: can I get a polar bear? I can’t believe I’m doing a shot. I feel so wild.
- 20s: Guys it’s 10:30, we can’t go out yet. Let’s have shots.
- 30s: I can’t believe I stayed out until 11pm! So late!
- 20s: I fell down the stairs last night? (please emphasize the question mark as you read this).
- 30s: I can’t believe I fell down the stairs. I’m in my 30s for god’s sake. Get your $hit together.
- 20s: There’s barf in my hair.
- 30s: I think the last time I threw-up was five years ago. Oh wait, I had food poisoning Christmas 2011.
- 20s: I can have 6 drinks and be sober.
- 30s: (Three drinks) I’M SO DRUNK RIGHT NOW!
- 20s: Got home at 3:30 last night and made it to my 9am.
- 30s: Three drinks cause a 2 day hangover.
- 20s: What costs $2?
- 30s: Can I see your martini list?
- 20s: I left my credit card at the bar again.
- 30s: $40? On alcohol? What am I, 20?
- 20s: What’s cheapest?
- 30s: WINE! ALL THE WINE.
- 20s: Haha. I can’t remember from 1am to 3am last night.
- 30s: There’s no need to get that drunk anymore.
Needless to say that while I still have it in me (in November I stayed out until 12:30 – I know, I’m so cool) and that once a party girl, a part of you is always capable of getting turnt (that’s a word that’s used right?), however the older you get, the more tired you get. A hangover is truly no longer worth it. And, there’s no longer a need to make bad decisions because as fun as a night out is, your bed and your pajamas are always way more fun.