For many of us, we spent many years on our own forming our own identity and our own let’s say quirks as to how we live and the way we do things. For others, they were never really on their own because they lucked out in the love department and found their person before they got super weird. And of course there were others, who went from person to person to person developing stranger and stranger habits. But what we all have in common is that at some point we have decided to (or will decide to) move in with our significant others and make that shit real. And whether or not we’re weird or “totally normal,” living with another person is bound to be challenging at some point or another.
Truth be told, I am in no way a typical wife. What’s that all about? This past Sunday, I made a sandwich for my husband. It was the first time I had ever done that for him. And, we’ve been in a relationship for nearly 5 years. Ummmm oops? That said, I have made lots of meals and soups and the like for him, but I had never thought to say “hey babe, want me to make you a sandwich for your drive?” I’m just not a natural caretaker. And when it comes to cleaning I need the pressure of my mom coming for me to really scrub. That said, he knew what he was getting into so we make it work in our own way. The reality is that you have to compromise. Actually, “compromise” is a bit of a dirty word so instead think of it as negotiating where everyone wins, rather than compromising where everybody loses.
Secondly, there’s a lot more to it than that when it comes to living with your partner. Here are some tips on how to make it work with your partner:
- If one of you has toilet trouble, try your freaking hardest to live somewhere that has two bathrooms. It’s awful to have to kick someone out of the bathroom because your emergency is bigger than theirs.
- Dishwashers save marriages. If Mr. and O and I hadn’t bought our counter top dishwasher, I’m not 100% that we would have made it to the wedding.
- Stop being gross. You’re over 23. Time for grossness is over.
- Look into a sleep number bed. I don’t have one, but I bet they are glorious.
- Sex. Have it. But only with each other. Unless you have an open relationship. Then do what you’ve agreed to.
- You can’t just leave things anywhere you want because it’s not just your space, it’s all y’all space.
- You’ve got to touch each other. And not even in a sexual way. But make sure you’re always connecting so that the love doesn’t go away.
- Rely on each other emotionally. Don’t go out where for support. If you’re starting to, you two need to sit down and communicate.
- Um, did you just read what I said? I said, sit down and communicate. Talk about your frustrations and what you love.
- Sex. There’s that word again. Make sure you’re satisfying each other. And don’t pressure your partners to do something they’re not comfortable with. Don’t be a two pump dump and not make sure that you’re partner enjoyed themselves. That’s just rude.
- Be helpful dammit. Sometimes, you just gotta get into the car and pick up your partner when they’ve stayed super late at work.
- Complaining gets you no where. Y’all gots to provide solutions to yo problems.
- Get a good vacuum. It changes lives.
- Figure out each others skills and go with it. Example: Mr. Opposite is better at loading and unloading the dishwasher and I am better at washing dishes with my hands. This means that he loads and unloads the dishwasher most of the time, and I will be the one to roll up my sleeves to scrub a pot some of the time.
- Tease each other and laugh at each other. Let’s face it, we all do stupid stuff and what’s the point of that if you’re not going to laugh about it.
- Spend a lot of time together. But not all the time. Because it’s good to have other relationships too. I mean, if you’re only with each other all the time, then who are you going to bitch about? You can’t gossip about your friends or parents if you never see them, silly.
- Push each other gently to grow. Whether it’s personally or professionally. Be the fire under their pot to get their butt moving and vice versa. But don’t nag about it. And don’t have unrealistic growth dreams. It’s more about pushing them towards things they genuinely want vs. what you want.
- If you like your house sparkling clean at any moment of every day. Then you need ot be the person who does this because it’s not your partners fault you’re a germophobe with OCD.
See guys! It’s not that hard. It can’t be because if Mr. Opposite and I can make it work, anyone can. For those who know us, you get it, we’re both very loveable and difficult all at once. It’s one of the few things we (Mr. and Mrs. Opposite) have in common. Disclaimer: we’re mostly loveable because we are both mostly awesome.