I can’t seem to wrap my head around the senseless murder of Cecil the Lion. Hunting for sport, to me, is a very barbaric and appalling way to entertain yourself, let alone spend a downpayment. What’s that all about? From fox hunting to big game hunting, it’s all disgusting to me. And I’m not against hunting, sometimes there’s a need to hunt for your dinner. In those cases, it’s not malicious it’s a part of the circle of life. Cue Elton.
So with the Dentist Lion Killer and the other monsters that are out there, I figured I’d compose a list for them to refer to before they spend atrocious sums of money to kill beautiful living creatures:
- $55K is a downpayment on a house. Perhaps you could invest in a house that has a pool. Swimming is way more fun than murder.
- Actually, you could have the best pool made into your existing back yard. The best pool ever.
- Helping a stranger. Woah, you have lots of money to burn. Helping another human is a great way to spend all that money. You feel good and are therefore entertained, and they feel good and are therefore entertained.
- Sitting at home doing absolutely nothing is in fact, more fun than murdering an animal that has eyes so loving they can break your heart.
- Going for a walk to a park and watching the birds. So, not only are you one with nature, you’ve also saved $55K!!!
- You could take 10 friends to Disney World for a week while staying in the Grand Floridian and have money to spare. That to me would be heaven.
- You could take dance lessons. Dancing is the best form of entertainment known to man.
- You could get a B-List rock band to play a party and invite your best buds. You could create a roomful of memories.
- You could take a tour of all the best amusement parks in the world and sample all the food until you barf.
- You could contribute to someone’s tuition.
- You could make the best backyard entertainment station on earth.
- You could buy the largest donation packages on www.Omaze.com until you win and meet your dream celebrity.
- You could drink a bottle of Dom at 183 celebrations.
- See, you can move mountains.
Actually, the more I think of it, pretty much anything on earth is a better way to spend your time, and money. In fact, I can’t think of a worse investment. I hope that Dentist is punished, that the guy who arranged it is punished, and no one ever again will kill one of those majestic beasts, (unless it’s trying to eat you and you need to defend yourself. I think that would be ok).