Ok, so recently I decided that I no longer like the term bridezilla (maybe it’s because I’m now the bridezilla). Anyway, the term is very offensive. Sure some brides have mega temper tantrums that resemble something like what a toddler would do, but still, a part of me feels like it’s a little un-feminist of me to use anymore. Unless however, I put it in quotes. Because I’ve learned that if you put something in quotes you can say whatever you darn well please. What’s that all about? I actually have no idea.
Anyway, as my (err, our) wedding day approaches, I constantly have to remind myself not to become a douche-bag. You see, for me in particular, I have been dreaming about getting married since I was a little girl and I have a particular vision as to how I want the day to unfold. Luckily for me I didn’t get married as a little girl because if I did, I would have had an Anne of Green Gables pouffy sleeved dress and some 90’s teal, pink and purple barfing all over everything. My vision has changed substantially. So because of this, here are somethings I tell myself at the start of each week:
- Don’t expect too much from your bridal party. You asked them to be in your wedding because you love them, not because you want them to be your bitches.
- This is also a financial thing too. If you want them in matching robes for the day of your wedding, then you need to buy those robes. They already have to buy their dress and get their hair/makeup done.
- Don’t make them feel guilty about missing some of your events. If you’re like me and you’re having more than one shower, you can’t expect your girls to be at them all. That’s a lot of days for them to give up for you.
- Try to be as generous as you can afford. Treat them to lunch before you go dress shopping, or splurge on your night before slumber party room. NOTE: Some people think that you’re supposed to pay for the bridal parties hotel rooms. That can get really pricey if you have more than one in your bridal party. Don’t worry, this is not a mandatory thing at all. Because if you do this, and you’re not rich, you’re going to add extra thousands of dollars to your wedding costs. You can gift them in other ways rather than $8000 in hotel fees. That’s excessive.
- Speaking of, be thoughtful in your gift choice for your wedding party.
- Don’t expect gifts. From anyone. You don’t invite someone to your wedding because you want their money. You invite them because you love them and want to be there on your special day. The true gift you receive is their presence and that’s worth more than money any day of the week.
- Try not to have too many events. Some events are taxing on the bridal party and takes a lot out of them.
- Reimburse them for expenses that aren’t mandatory/standard wedding party expenses.
- Make sure they feel beautiful on your wedding day. Set some guidelines that fit your wedding theme, but don’t dictate so much that they don’t feel comfortable. The more beautiful they feel, the more beautiful they look, the better your pictures are. And that’s the reason you’re getting married right? For a picture book of awesomesauce.
- If you know your weaknesses i.e. planning, stress management, last minute changes, then try to mitigate them. I project manage (kind of) for a living. My job is to figure out how to get things done and get it done on time. And because of this I know letting go will be very hard for me. So, I’ve hired a wedding planner to help with the details and ensure that my, sorry, our vision is executed. This way I won’t have to worry about it and I can just focus on the most important thing: becoming Mrs. Opposite.
- Stop arguing with your parents. They are just trying to help. Set boundaries that work for both parties and get going. They’ve been waiting for this day longer than you have!
- Make your bridal party a priority. Remember to be a true friend right now. It’s not all about you.
Right? Did you read that? It’s not all about you. Just mostly. 😉 Whatever you do, just make sure your bridal party feels respected and listened to. It may be ‘your’ day, but they are a huge, make that major part of it.