Last night while trying to convince one of my favourite moms (Ms. D) to do a podcast with me, I pitched her what could be our first topic: Is there a need to indicate if kids are welcome at a wedding or if the addressing the envelope to just the couple and not ‘and family’ would suffice?
You see, Mr. O and I were finalizing our invitations, and debated this a fare amount. And as much as I love kids, I don’t really want them at my wedding. I mean, at the wedding there will be a couple of kids there. My perfect niece and nephew, Mr. O’s cousin may be bringing her adorable girl from Edmonton, and for my friends who just had a little one, there will probably be some babies under the table waiting to be fed some booby juice. But, other than that, that’s it. What’s that all about? You see, if we invited everyone’s kids, either we’d have to add 60 extra guests which we can’t afford, concurrently turning our wedding into a very expensive daycare, or we’d have to not invite some of our adult friends that we want to share our day with.
Ms. D then brought up the fact that people would probably ask if kids are allowed and not assume. She then joked that not everyone has common sense. Which is very true, however I believe everyone on our list has common sense. And, I’m sure they know. I bet most of them are looking forward to a night off where they can pretend to be kidless until they wake up and have to parent with a hangover. Which sounds just awful. Kids are very loud and high pitched and stinky, all things not hangover friendly. But still, do we need to indicate it? Should we indicate it? What are the rules? Blerg. Weddings are so tough sometimes.
I also asked my wedding planner what the proper etiquette would be. First she asked me if there are a lot of people invited that have kids. I told her about half. To which she responded with a hilarious “yikes.” She then told me I probably should make it clear, but then said that “Martha Stewart would say don’t indicate it on the invite and tell people personally. But that’s a lot of work.” And she’s right, that would be a lot of work. I’m sure everyone would assume. Right?
Because of all the flip-flopping, Ms. D suggested to just do it anyway since at our age, most people have kids and to avoid confusion and the hassle just put it on the invite. So, right now we have it on the back. Tucked away where you could miss it.
The realitiy is, that Mr. Opposite and I are getting married late. The first round of weddings that happened in my mid to late 20’s not only didn’t have to deal with this because no one had kids then, but they have been very fruitful. In 2009, I was invited to 9 weddings. I was single. I actually could only afford to go to 7 of the 9 weddings and I think that was my broke-est year ever. So, out of these 9 weddings, I think all of them have had at least 1 kid, but most have had two and some have had three. Three kids can you believe it. That sounds so scary. So if we did the math and invited the kids of all these couples that would increase our guest list by 9-20 people. Jeeze louise. Who can afford that? And that’s just the offspring from the weddings of 2009.
For those of you planning weddings, what did you do? Did you want kids there? Did you not want kids there? Was it on your invite? Did you tell people personally? Please advise. I’m so torn.