I know that typically from The Non-Mom, you expect and anticipate unsolicited advice as to what you should do with your children. And although it’s not always welcomed, it always or almost always brings a laugh or two or at least a mild snicker.
Today however, I’m going to focus not on how you raise your children, but how you speak. Because my parenting friends, some things that some of you say, drive many of the non-parents out there absolutely bonkers. The more I read and watch parenting news, I’ve noticed that when something offends a mom or a parent when it has to do with children’s safety or censoring, some parents feel the need to quantify their feelings by saying: As a mom, blah blah blah I am horrified, offended, exasperated, irritated blah blah blah. What’s that all about? The second I hear someone utter the words ‘As a mom,’ I am no longer interested in anything they have to say. It’s as though magical earmuffs appear and diffuse any sound that’s coming out of that individuals mouth.
Here’s the thing, you don’t need to be a mom to be offended by something. It’s true. Non-Parents can offend just as easily as parents. Non-Parents worry about safety of the little ones too. And animals. And the environment. And the economy. You didn’t have to grow an alien inside of you and squeeze it out of a tiny hole just to find something obscene. It’s called having eyes, a heart, and some compassion.
Here are some examples of things that get said, and how they could be phrased instead:
- As a mom, I feel like those violent video games are bad for children. This could be stated like this instead: I feel like those violent video games are bad for children.
- As a mom, children need to be safe and loved. How about: Children need to be safe and loved.
- As a mom, I am offended. Instead use: I am offended.
See, it’s not that hard. Just because you don’t have kids doesn’t make you a monster that doesn’t see the dangers that are out there. And I don’t think being a ‘mom’ or a ‘dad’ or a ‘parent’ makes your feelings any more valid. They are still just your feelings. You don’t need to always quantify your existence with your mom/dad status. It makes me want to pinch you. And as a human, I know that that is a dramatic response.