This post was originally written as the 2014 friendship list, when in fact, this is the every year friendship list. This has been updated accordingly.
When we were younger, many of us believed that we needed to be near our friends and also see them often to sustain the level of closeness that good friends have. When a friend moved away it felt like the world was ending because your relationship seemed to be over. I mean, it must be different now, because of the facebook, tweeter and hipstergram. But in the 80’s and early 90’s, unless you learned the art of letter writing and your parents didn’t mind you making long distance calls, in many cases, a friend who moved was actually a friend that was temporarily lost (thanks be to the internet gods for giving us the chance to recreate lost connections).
Luckily for me however, my parents sent me away to summer camp every year, so each year I grew more and more accustomed to having friends that were far away. We maintained our friendships through letters, calls, and when we got older, visits. And then the internet really took off, and my friends no longer had to try to decipher my chicken-scratch-little-boy writing and phonetically spelled words. If it wasn’t for ‘right-click,’ I’d never be able to write a sentence because spelling is something I just can’t figure out. What’s that all about? Yes, I’m a writer who cannot spell. Making Spelling Bee’s my worst nightmare – note, if I ever leave you a hand written note and you can’t figure out what it says, just sound it out. You’ll get it then.
Throughout the years, I have acquired a wonderfully eclectic group of friends from different phases in my life, that, oddly enough, in many cases, overlap in various different circles. These women are in fact, the best women in the history of the universe that have ever existed. It’s a fact. The sad and amazing fact about my wonderful ladies, is that although we have spread out not only across the province, or even the country, but we also have spread out across the world. And although sometimes we go weeks, months, and even years without seeing one another, the second we do it’s as though no time has passed at all. Sometimes actually, we won’t even talk for months at a time, which seemed like a devastating tragedy when we were younger. But now, that we’re starting to become old bitties, we realize that life just takes over. You blink and months have gone by consumed by work and obligations and you wonder where the time went. I’ll tell you where it went, it got deposited into Father Time’s bank account. That greedy bastard.
Anyway, with this, I want to give you the Friendship List; how to know you’ve found your most wonderful group of friends:
- You don’t get annoyed when they post multiple baby pics on babybook. I mean engagementbook, I mean weddingbook. Shit. Facebook.
- They have the ability to make you laugh so hard, that you worry a little pee slipped out. This may also show your age. Dammit.
- You can fight. Like actually get really mad at each other. But you never once stop loving one another.
- They know when to give you the advice you need, and when to give you the advice you want to hear, and when to give you the advice you need when you don’t want to hear it.
- They love your partner, even if they can’t stand your partner. Because they love you, and they love who you love.
- They have your back when you need it, but also tell you when you’re being a grown-up baby.
- Hugs from them actually feel like love. Like actual legit love.
- You can count on them in a pinch. And they will ‘punch a bitch’ if you need them to. And when I say punch, I don’t literally mean it. Although, some feisty ones would if you really really needed them to.
- They make the effort for you and make you feel like you’re a priority. Obviously this can’t be all the time. We do have our own lives, but they do this. Because they love you.
- They don’t judge you. Who am I kidding, they totally judge you, but they never stop loving you and will tease the crap out of you.
- They feel your pain when you feel pain, and in turn, they feel your happiness for you too.
- Support. That is all.
- Sometimes, they know you better than you know yourself.
So this year, when you’re assessing your friends, keep only those that attain at least some of the qualities above. There’s no room for frenemies in 2014.
Happy New Year everyone. Looking forward to a wonderful 2014 filled with laughter, love and wonderful friendships!