Oh hey neighbour! What are you doing over there? Oh, um…do you know I can see you? Do you know that I can see you touching that mans penis? You do? OK. Just so we’re both clear, you’re naked and humping and I can see it. Glad we got that covered.
Isn’t city living so exciting? Literally sexciting?
In the human sized aunt hills we call major cities, thousands upon thousands of people are crammed into small spaces. Because of constantly being pressed shoulder to shoulder with one another, many of us have become desensitized to our surroundings. We no longer require the privacy that we once had while living our past lives in small cities or towns. It’s like we’ve all developed an invisible force field, rendering us to think that no one notices what we’re doing. But the thing is, the force field is invisible, so everyone can see what we’re doing. Pretty much, all, the, time.
The other week, Mr. Opposite and I were getting ready to watch a movie, when we noticed two people aggressively going at it on their balcony across the street. Our apartment is in the center of the concrete jungle, with the apartment beside ours only being a small small street away. We saw everything. We saw their hand movements, and how they had to do up their pants when they were done. We even turned our lights off walked up to our blinds, closed them enough so they couldn’t really notice us, and tried to get a better look without being caught. It was a bit creepy, but who cares, it was hilarious. Hilarious for many reasons:
- These two were on their balcony in plain sight. “Hey World! Look at us! We have sex!!!!”
- It looked totally awkward, and maybe like one of them was paid. Their encounter after the finish line seemed very business like. And a little humiliating. She sadly sat on the couch, and he bolted as soon as possible. If it wasn’t a business arrangement, then it definitely was a disappointing hook up.
- I think they wanted to be watched. They probably even got off on it. Come on, let’s face it, if you’re getting it ‘on’ on your balcony that closely faces another building, you want to be watched right? That’s even worse than doing it with the lights on and the blinds open when your neighbours are less than 15 feet away. I get that you can’t always control when the magic is about to happen and if your a human and not a hermit you want to have the blinds open to let some life in, however, there comes a point in a make-out session when it is probably smart to close the blinds. I also get the excitement of the risk of being watched, but I also get that the internet exists and that people can post whatever video they want (for the most part), whenever they want. And that my dear friends, is a scary enough reason to close your blinds.
- What’s extra funny is that a few years ago a good friend and colleague of mine lived in the same building. Sometimes, he’d MSN me saying, ‘My neighbours are going at it again’, ‘I think she’s a mistress’. Maybe it’s the same girl.
Anyway, this encounter led me to wonder many things about the couple who were going at it for all the south facing units in my building to see. And, more importantly, why couldn’t I stop myself from watching? I’ve seen several people make-out across the street from my unit, and every time, I’m like a deer in headlights, unable to look away. What’s that all about? Are we all a little bit exhibitionist? Is it just me? Am I perverse?
Luckily, while at a friends birthday party, we were discussing this topic, and we all confessed to watching our naked neighbours. Phew, crisis averted. I’m not a total creep (at least in this case). Some even confessed that they got a little rush walking around topless knowing there’s a chance that someone could see. I mean really, who hasn’t had an outside sex fantasy? Finding a spot where you’re hidden, but you could get caught. That’s normal right? Mile high club anyone?