Most mornings, I wake up, annoy Mr. Opposite a bit (I try to get him to spoon me each morning), finally get out of bed and head to the bathroom. I then look in the mirror, and am all kinds of shocked at what I see. I honestly don’t know what happens to my face while I sleep. It’s as though, in the middle of the night, someone sneaks into my room, punches me in both eyes, and sucks all the blood out of my face. It’s insane. Shocking, I know. I’m sure you all thought I wake up looking fresh faced and ready to go, but I don’t. I wake up looking like a vampire who parties with Lindsay Lohan. Pale and hungover with two black-eyes.
Luckily, with a quick shower and layers of makeup, I can join the living and walk out the door looking like a human, not a zombie. Luckily.
I can’t even imagine what it would be like to go through the above, and then to actually have to stay looking that way, all day. It would be terrible. To have to get up, look in the mirror and think ‘well, this is what I’ll look like today,’ sounds god awful. It actually makes me feel sorry for men, as it’s way less socially acceptable for them to wear makeup. The poor dudes, are stuck looking the way they actually look, with no support and enhancement from the magical world of cosmetics.
So, I’ve decided that it is now socially acceptable for men everywhere (not just South Koreans) to wear makeup whenever they see fit. Tell all your friends.
- Up all night partying like you’re 19? Don’t worry, you can wear makeup to work tomorrow.
- Have an unsightly pimple? Cover it up, and while you’re at it, cover those age spots you got going on. It’s no big deal.
Women have been doing it for centuries and it’s wonderful. Really wonderful. I can wake up in the morning looking like a 4, and leave the apartment looking like a nice solid 6.5-8 depending on the outfit/hair/makeup of course. There you go men, I, single-handedly, have once again done you a favour. You’re welcome.