It’s 2012, and the United States still hasn’t fully recovered from the George W recession. In California, residents everywhere are unable to make payments on their storage lockers and their precious, semi-precious, and full blown crap is up for grabs at auctions. Doug Chester (Ben Stiller) and a group of fierce competitors known as The Bidders, have made a living of off pirating, errr purchasing, these abandoned units. And, in the The Reality Station’s (TRS) true to form of showcasing only the classiest of Reality TV, Doug Chester, and his opponents, have become D-List celebrities.
Chester is the most successful of all the bidders. He has the biggest store, the biggest trucks and the biggest team. He knows it. Flaunts it. And doesn’t make friends. Known for his catch phrase ‘Giddy-Up’ Chester is often caught saying things like “I don’t care what they bid. If I want this unit, I’m going to get it. The can’t beat me. This is my territory.”
Proud Americans D’arcy Blankets (Will Ferrell) and his son Billy (Seth Rogen) are quickly catching up to Chester, and he can’t handle it. Along, with the Blankets, Tammy and Jason Johnson (Amy Poehler and Mark Wahlberg), and Jerry (Christopher Walken) keep Chester on his toes. The sabotage and confrontations invoke roaring laughter and out-right hilarity.
However, when The Bidders discover that the network has been faking the show all along they put their differences aside and team up to take down ‘the man’ better known as Tim Tanker (Paul Rudd), TRS executive and his love struck assistant Sarah Henderson (Tina Fey).
Just kidding. I made all that up. Seriously. Made it up. Sorry if I got your hopes up. But wouldn’t it be amazing?
On Monday I was watching Storage Wars with Mr. Opposite when this idea came to me. I was so proud of myself and my creativity that I began day dreaming about the movie. After I announced my idea and had been day dreaming for while, I looked up and said, “I can’t wait to see it!”.
Mr. Opposite then replied, “What? That made up movie you just made up?”
Which caused me to respond, “Oh my god. I’m an idiot!” I then laughed for ten minutes about how stupid I can be. Anyway, Will, Ben, Tina, Amy, Paul, Seth, Christopher, and Mark, if you like my idea message me. We’ll talk. Oh and readers, if you think this would be as funny as I do, please share.
In other real news: Dave Hester from A&E’s Storage Wars is actually suing the network for planting treasures in the lockers. What’s that all about? Why can’t reality TV do one of two things:
- Disappear forever. It’s mindless and makes me dumber.
- Actually be reality.
Seriously people. Stop calling it reality if it’s just made up bull-crap!
If you think my movie idea is good, please share with your network. Let’s see if this post can get to the stars that are referenced in it!