On August 27th, 2012, for the first time in my entire life I went to Disney World. It was incredible. It surpassed all of my expectations and I have to admit, it was the best vacation of my life (insert judgement from ‘travel snobs’).

Don’t get me wrong, I have every intent on seeing the rest of the world. I dream of going to Italy, France, England, Greece, Germany, Amsterdam, Australia, New Zealand, South America, Asia, everywhere. And I know that those experiences will enrich me as a person, enlighten me as an individual, and pretty much make me better than everyone else who hasn’t been to those places, however, Disney World was truly a dream come true.

Let me tell you a little bit about my magical trip’s ups and slight downs:

• On the way over the border, my mom accidentally went through the Nexus line, causing us to be pulled over at customs, questioned a little, and the car was searched. This little hiccup ensured that we were nearly late for our flight.
• After running to our gate, because Delta is a terrible airline and doesn’t let you book your seats together (unless you want to pay extra), we rushed to the front where we asked if we could be seated together. The witch-y lady replied that she couldn’t ‘promise us anything’ in one of the worst tones I’ve ever heard. (Worst customer service rep I’ve ever encountered)
• Mr. Opposite went to the washroom and came out stating that his phone was missing. Yikes. I went up to the witch at the front and asked if there was a phone, and she, without even looking up at me, pursed her lips and shook her head no. B.I.T.C.H.
• We boarded the plane and sat in our separate seats (not together). With Mr. Opposite having lost his phone that had his entire life on it, we felt our trip was ruined. I then negotiated with everyone around to ensure we could sit together. And, at the exact moment when we finally were seated together, the flight staff announced they found a phone at the front desk. Hooray. Turns out they had announced it earlier, but the witch wouldn’t listen to me because she thought I was checking on our seat situation.
• To add to the happiness of our seats being together and the phone being found, somehow the row we were seated in happened to have no one else in it! We had the entire three seats all to ourselves. Success!
• Once we landed and brought our luggage to our room, we wandered around the resort and stopped by the outside bar to have a drink. Here was where Mr. Opposite got stung by a bee in his neck. This caused a swarm of moms to gather around him, and they all touched his neck and offered him ice to ensure he was ok. Hilarious. For someone who doesn’t really like strangers, and washes his hands a trillion times a day, this was awful and amazing all at once. Really, because of the day we had, all we could do was laugh.
• We then went to Hollywood Studios and went on almost every ride. It was amazing. Oh, and we had the best Mexican food for dinner that night too.
• The second day we woke up early and headed to the park. Just so you know, Epcot is pretty close to being the best place on earth. We drank in every country and went on every ride. Nothing funny happened there, except that I started to feel sick. Damn flight.
• NOTE: There were far too many extremely overweight people on scooters. I may sound quite terrible here, but maybe if those people got off of their scooters and walked a little, perhaps they wouldn’t need the scooters after all. It reminded me of Wall-E. It was sad.

• Downtown Disney is super cool, except that we had our worst meal there. Portobello is about as good as an Applebees and that’s about as sub-par as you can get in my mind.
• If you ever decide to go to Disney, don’t do Animal Kingdom on a super hot day. There aren’t any extremely air-conditioned stores where you can cool off. This caused us to spend only 3.5 hours at that park. Shortest visit of all.
• On the third day after Animal Kingdom, we went back to Epcot to have dinner. It’s strange being drunk in an amusement park. We had drinks in every country again, and then because we could see the fireworks from our table, we engaged in a bottle of Champagne in France while we ate our dinner. How fitting.
• Magic Kingdom. Wow. All of my childhood fantasies in one place. I nearly exploded with excitement. In fact, as we left, for some embarrassing strange reason, I cried; full out cried. I kept saying ‘don’t talk to me so I can stop’. It was ridiculous. I think it was the electrical parade that sent me over the top. I love parades, I love Disney, and I’ve wanted to see that parade for my entire life. I told my friend about how I cried as we left, and she told me she did too, however she was seven. Clearly, I was over stimulated. (In all honesty, I almost cried as we approached Disney World too, and while watching the Philharmonic 3D show…it was just too much for me. I’ve wanted to go there for my entire life).

Anyway, we killed Disney. We went on nearly every ride, we ate more food than any human ever should, and although we had to sleep in separate beds because of the brutal cold that I caught, AND although it was our first vacation together so it really sucks that we had to do that, it was by far the happiest I’ve ever been. I still smile when I think about it.

Needless to say, Disney was the cause of having not posted last week. Sorry. This week, I’ll get back to gossip and opinions, I promise. FYI that b-word who was taking pics of Harry should be slapped. Hello, he’s a prince…he can have fun anyway he wants. More on this subject later.