It was a Saturday evening and myself and Mr. Opposite had just ordered delicious sushi. We had spent the day organizing my apartment and then spent the early evening walking around with another couple. By the time we got home, we were pretty hungry so as I mentioned above, mouth-watering sushi from Sushi Bon was a must (mmm I can taste it now).

Earlier in the day we had opened the curtains to let some natural light in (we never do this as both of us are pale skinned night worshipers). Anyway, as we were sitting on the couch anxiously awaiting for the delivery man to arrive, we noticed that across the street there were a bunch of flashlights shining everywhere into our neighbours apartment.

We got up to take a closer look from the window only to see 5-10 police officers barge into the apartment from the front door, while others ran around to the back. Being the nosy neighbours that we are (I mean really, wouldn’t anyone get up off their seat for this), we went to the front door of our apartment to get an even closer look. Privacy is overrated anyway, especially when your business is taking place in the middle of the street.

There, we noticed a hysterical girl pacing as she talked on her cell phone, which led us to come to the ‘domestic’ assumption. That said, we all know what making assumptions does, it makes an ass out of ‘u’ and ‘me’. This was when the action started and the night really got interesting; the police dragged out a shirtless-tattooed-beefcake-smart-ass and pinned him to the car. While being held down, he then decided to call out racial slurs to one of the police officers and followed up with ‘Go f-yourself, and you ‘f-got’. What’s that all about? I then came to the conclusion that this guy was a genius. Kidding, clearly.

Once our sushi arrived, we no longer had the excuse to be waiting outside so we then had to go inside and give everyone the space that they probably deserved. Unfortunately, we never found out exactly what happened and whether or not it was a domestic, but we did get a reminder in what one should never say to a man or woman in uniform. Below is a list of suggestions of ‘things you should never say to an ociffer’…I mean officer:

1. “Gay” insults. I hate to break it to you, but calling someone gay isn’t an insult. Being gay is in no way a negative thing so your comment is lost in translation and you look like an asshole. Oh, derogatory terms are offensive, but only to the people who have to hear the terrible word that came out of your mouth because the word in itself is ugly. However, as I stated above there’s no value in that insult.
2. Telling them to f-off, go f-themselves, etc. Let’s stop and think about this for a second: wouldn’t one want to say things that would help their case rather than dig themselves into a bigger hole? Clearly, this person was not of sound mind because every thing they said caused more and more dirt to get piled on their head (figuratively, not literally).
3. Racist comments. First of all, saying a racist comment to a regular person can cause an issue (not only does it show that they’re a complete idiot, but it also shows that they’re a total jerk store), but to a police offer, that’s just stupid. Also, hasn’t anyone ever told them that it’s 2012 and racism is no longer an acceptable way of thinking and speaking? For goodness sake people, we are in Toronto a multicultural cornucopia, to be racist would be quite exhausting in a city like this.

As you can see, our lame Saturday night of movies and sushi turned out to be far more exciting than a night at the pub. And, not only were we provided with free entertainment, we learned a little too. Not a bad way to spend a weekend night if you ask me!

*In all honestly, I hope all involved are ok and that no one was hurt.