You know, there’s this old saying that goes ‘Give a child a balloon for his birthday and he’ll stare at the balloon. Give a child a gun…and he’ll shoot the darn balloon dead’. Alright, alright, alright, you caught me, that’s not really a saying…yet.

It turns out that in the lovely gun slinging state of Texas, a shooting range is now offering birthday parties for children ages 8 and up. Ye-haw!!! Now, I know what you must be thinking; you’re thinking that this is such a great idea and that more kids should have access to guns. I know you’re thinking this…me too. I mean, guns have never hurt anyone, children are able to differentiate between play time and real time, and shooting guns should be a normal experience for everyone, right? What’s that all about?

When I wrote my post about the 7 Things Wrong with America, regretfully forgot to point out their right to bear arms. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think anyone should have the right to own a gun, unless it’s for hunting (even that’s a grey area…too many crazies want to kill things). Guns are dangerous, people are dangerous, and if you take two dangerous things and add them together you get a super terrifying way of life.

With the right to bear arms aside, let’s talk about the matter at hand which is ‘children’ ‘shooting guns’ for their ‘birthday’. Scary. I mean playing video games and with water-guns is one thing, but actually shooting a real gun with real bullets? C’mon. I know that when I was a kid, my birthday parties consisted of McDonald’s, ice rinks, roller rinks, bowling or going to the movies to see All Dogs Go to Heaven. Strangely enough, my parents never thought to take me to the gun range. I now feel as though I was ripped off, I shoulda’ been shoot’n me the enemy. Mickey D’s is for wussies!