After watching Kristen Bell’s Sloth Breakdown on Ellen, where she admits that she only has a safe range of emotions where she’s not crying – the 3-7 range – I will now confess that I too suffer from the 3-7 Faucet Fest.

As Kristin stated, anything that brings my emotions lower than a 3 or higher than a 7, everyone better watch out because tears will start flowing. I can’t help it. In fact, I cry all the time. I cry when I’m sad, I cry when I’m happy, I cry when I see something beautiful, I cry when I see something awful. I just cry. It’s true, I’ll confess, I am a giant Cry Baby!

What’s worse is that if I’m overtired I will cry no matter what. Over anything. I mean it, A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G! At that point crying really is inevitable. Overtired-ness actutally makes it so I can’t react to ANYTHING normally. It’s impossible. Emotions just spew out of my body like projectile vomit. What’s that all about?

Anyway, I always thought that I was a giant weirdo that had uncontrollable tear issues, but it turns out a lot of women cry…all the time! And thank god; feeling alone in a world suffering from uncontrollable leaky faucets, it not a good feeling.

With that thought in mind, below are a few examples of perfectly reasonable reasons to cry:

• A save the children ad on TV? Cry.
• Watching that CIBC ad with the pregnant woman and husband? Cry.
• You got into a fight with your friend over nothing? Cry.
• Your boyfriend is acting distracted from you? Cry. Cry so heard you stop breathing.
• Can’t decide what you want for dinner? Cry.
• Your pants don’t fit right? Cry. Throw a temper tantrum and cry some more.
• Someone gives you an awesome present? Cry.
• You feel really loved? Cry.
• You boyfriend plans a surprise for your birthday that is the nicest thing ever? CRY. Just cry.
• You feel overwhelmed? Cry.
• Work is frustrating you to the point of tears? Let’m out baby. Cry.
• You just feel like crying? Watch something sad/romantic/happy and cry. Cry till you can’t cry anymore.

To all my fellow criers out there, I hope that this list helps you feel a little bit more normal. You’re welcome.