Apparently, according to my doctor, I Jen Woodall am no longer a spring chicken.

I was sitting in the doctor’s office this morning staring at my doctor talking about my health. The walls were whitish, decorated with health reminders, the exam table was ready for me to lie down for my annual violation and the doctor was leaning back in his chair. Seeing that this was a physical, naturally we got on the subject of sex, protection and children. My doctor asked me if I was ever planning on having kids. I guess this is a normal question, so I responded ‘of course, just not yet’. He then asked me ‘why’ and then stated that if I do want to have children, that I should start soon. Yep, he said soon, as in this year. Oh. My. God. YIKES. What’s that all about?

He said that now that I’m 30, I’ve lost 90% of my eggs and that it’s not uncommon for women who are 31, 32 and 33 to not be able to get pregnant. EXTRA YIKES. He also asked me why I didn’t want to get pregnant now? I first responded ‘because I’m not married’. In which he responded ‘does that matter?’ First off…whoa times they have’a changed. I would bet that 30 years ago a doctor would never ask a women if it mattered that she wasn’t married if the topic of having children came up. Second off…I realize that it doesn’t matter but, for me, I’d like to be married first.

I then added that I’m not ready and that I didn’t want kids for a few years. Really, I don’t really want to have children for another 5ish years. I have things I want to do first. I have hangovers waiting for me and I have life skills I still need to learn…like maintaining a clean house. I mean really, I’m 30. Has my ticking clock really gone off? Are my ovaries drying up as I type this? I thought 30 was the new 20? I can’t have a baby…I am a baby. Ugh. Needless to say that being told my biological clock is ticking was a crappy way to start my day.