Growing up a sister of hockey players, you can end up being one of three things:
- A puck bunny. Aka: skank-o-rama.
- A never-dater.
- A tread-lighty.
One of the beloved 697 Girls, Melissa, was the sister of two hockey playing older brothers. Because of this she was exposed to insights in the hockey world, most girls do not become privy to. She witnessed her older brothers friends dating all her friends. She saw ups and she saw many downs. Now, although her brothers and brothers friends are all wonderful and wonderfully funny, Melissa, decided to choose the path of option number 2.
Never date a hockey player.
What’s that all about? Well, there are many reasons why one would opt out of dating hockey players, such as:
- You have an unnatural fear of small fast moving black objects.
- What happens in their locker rooms. There’s a hint of truth in most rumours and if that’s the case. Yikes.
- Coldness makes you shrivel up and turn into a hobbit.
- The stigma associated with being a hockey players wife/girlfriend.
- You can’t skate.
- The chance that they do and always will love their hockey team, more than they’ll ever love you.
- Being around red, white and blue all at once makes you break out into a remixed version of the American national anthem.
Because of three of the above reasons, (it’s up to you to guess which ones) Melissa chose this life path.
At one point in university Melissa attended a party at Lindsay’s brothers house. While at said party, one of the many hockey playing guests, took a liking to her. Which is very understandable. She’s quite likeable. So at the end of the night after hours of trying to win her heart over, Scott (that’s what we’ll call him) looked at Melissa and said…
‘Give a hockey player a chance’
Poor guy, what he failed to realize when Melissa said she didn’t date hockey players, she meant it. She was on life path #2 and there was no way of getting her off of it.