Don’t worry readers…I’m not a huge hockey fan so this won’t be filled with stats and what not – just random stories.
I’m sure I said this before, but like many Canadians, especially suburban Canadians, I grew up in an arena. I would figure skate 7 times a week, and my brother played travel hockey. Pretty much, I never left that wonderfully cold ice playground.
All of that said, there’s something major that you need to note about this: I’ve never been a Puck Bunny or atleast a real one. Two side points: A) I bet I would have been one in high school, but I was a giant prude so the cool dudes wouldn’t go near me. B) I once dressed up as a Puck Bunny for halloween. I wore bunny ears, a bunny tail, bunny feet, a hockey jersey and a pearl necklace (yup, a fresh water pearl necklace). What’s that all about? Class, that’s what.
If you are unsure about what a Puck Bunny is please go to wikipedia to see its definition.
Because of my summers in Muskoka, I’ve met a series of NHL players. Some were funny. Some were cute. However, I wanted to sleep with NONE of them. I repeat NONE of them.
An acquaintance of mine who was playing for Boston at the time, would hold an annual pig roast every year. It was the highlight of my summer. We’d all drive up to the small town he was from, stay at his best friends house (whose sister Melissa is one of my best friend’s), purchase some booze, and head down to the farm where we’d drop our beer into a pig trough and then feast on pig and dance in the barn. At the Pig Roasts a few of the guests were other NHL players (NHL captains included).
One year on our way to the Pig Roast, we stopped in Barrie to go shopping. When we were there we saw these amazing t-shirts. They were $10 and said ‘I heart hockey players’. They were perfect.
We purchased about 15 of them and distributed them to the girls.
When we showed up to the party, we were not greeted with smiling faces. There were many whispers and stares. It was a little intense…that is, until they realized who we were and that we weren’t ‘super skanks’ and that it was an awesome joke.
Anyway, after dancing on the tractor one of our dude friends accidentally bumped into an angry drunk guy. Angry Drunk Guy was standing with an NHL Capitano. Melissa was trying to mediate the situation, when el Capitano jokingly told Angry Drunk Guy to punch Melissa in one of her lady fun-bags.
Angry Drunk Guy actually considered this action. Luckily, Capitano stopped it and Angry Drunk Guy calmed down and left the dance party. Crisis averted. Phew.
There are so many other amazing stories from this night…but not all stories are meant to be shared 😉