The truth is…Men and Women CAN be friends. We really can. The problem lies in the fact that human nature/instinct is to want to mate. It’s science. Really, it’s just so damn tricky because of the fact that:
That said, just cause it’s human nature to want to mate, doesn’t mean you want to mate with your friends. At least I 97.5% don’t want to (obviously there are some exceptions to every rule). Below is a list of scenarios in which a male/female friendship is possible:
- When you picture your male friend naked, he looks like a Ken doll. This doesn’t work in the reverse, because if a man pictures a woman naked, he likes it.
- You work together. Work has the ability to turn any relationship asexual. That being said, work is also where a lot of affairs happen. So tread lightly and with caution.
- You think of them as ‘a brother’ and they have entered the dreaded friend-zone.
- You grew up with them. Odds are if it was going to happen, it would have, and if it did, it obviously didn’t work out so just friend-away.
- You just hit it off and NEVER have any ‘tense moments’. (Tense moment – when you feel like something may happen but it doesn’t, or you can tell that they’re attracted to you, but they don’t do anything about it, etc.)
- You have a mentor status with them or they have a mentor status with you. Good life advice is hard to come by so don’t F-it-up!
If you want to sustain this friendship then their are a few things to avoid:
- Drunk make outs.
- Flirting in front of ze Spouse. Even if you don’t want them, ze Spouse will not likie!
- Becoming the ‘backup’. You know, when your friend is single and they call you ALL the time, want spend as much time with you as possible to do date like things. What’s that all about? It’s like your their girlfriend but you don’t get to do any of the fun things. That’s how feelings start and when it’s not reciprocated, it can be defeating and if you let it, it can become super unhealthy (obviously talking about 2008/2009…I’m an idiot).
- Did I say drunk make outs?
Crossing the line with a friend is a sure fire way end a friendship. On the contrary, it’s also a sure fire way to start something good…or it could have just been something fun you did once and after you have a time out from each other things maybe will get back to normal. This is just a maybe though – if you’re in this scenario, keep your fingers crossed.
The truth is, if your the kind of person that wants to get married, then most likely you want to marry your best friend. I think it just get’s confusing because you don’t actually date your best friend, you date someone and then they become your best friend (insert light bulb).
So, in conclusion of my 3 part series. We can in fact be friends. It’s just complicated.