As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I have a big problem with ‘word vomit’. Often, I will sacrifice my morals for the sake of a good punch line. It’s like the need of a good joke takes over all my common sense, and I just say the first funny thing that comes to mind.
Below is a story about a time, when I said something that was kind of mean, not necessarily true…but really funny.
2009 had a bit of a rough start for me. I was totally, completely infatuated with a fellow (let’s call him Mr. Wonderful), who loved the fact that I wanted him. I could go into detail, but instead, I’ll just leave at – the boy strung me along like I was an inner-tube behind a motorboat.
After we had our big blow out and we were finally done, I ran into him a few times, things were civil and fine. But then came NYE 2010.
Because 2009 was filled with a few highs and SO many lows, I decided that NYE 2010 was going to be all about Jen! AKA – Twenty-ten, year of JEN!
So, I wore my most ridiculous outfit – silver dress, hot pink tights, sparkly feathered flower in my hair and ankle boots. Gathered some of my favourite girlfriends and headed to the NYE party that was going to be epic.
The party we were going to was hosted by a co-work-neighbour-friend-mutual friend of mine. The party also was a convenient 9 minute walk from my apartment and in the office right beside my work.
After the first half hour of being there, I looked up and saw Mr. Wonderful. It was so strange that he was there, as we didn’t really overlap socially too much and he had been to my work before so to me, I found this quite odd.
That said, being the mature, grownup that I am, I bit the bullet and talked with him for a bit. Later in the night he came up to me to ask me to go outside for a cigi. Realizing that him being at the party ruined any chance I had of meeting the man of my dreams, I joined him.
When we were outside, he started talking about inappropriate things. There were other girls around, and it was starting to get embarrassing. AND then he mentioned his penis. Without even thinking, blinking or breathing, I blurted out (in front of 5-8 girls):
“I’ve seen it. Wasn’t impressed”. (sorry mom)
What’s that all about? First-off, I don’t talk like that. Second-off, I’m not saying if this was true, wasn’t true, if I’ve seen it or haven’t. This was a joke that was uncalled for, no matter how much of a d-bag he was. Really, I made that horrific comment all for the sake of a laugh. He was being totally inappropriate, so I replied with a totally inappropriate comeback.
Everyone laughed and at the same time was in total shock (I, myself was in shock). He ended up putting his head down and leaving the party. I’m pretty sure he was super bombed and it was time for him to leave anyway, but I felt really bad. It was a well-timed BAD joke.