I’m writing this post, for all of my single friends who get down on themselves for “still” being single.
I know that we all had plans. When I was growing up I assumed I’d be married by 24 and a mother by 28. And yet, here I am, 28 and not even close to being married. When I use to picture this plan for myself: I would be living a few blocks away from my parents, on the same street as my best friend (I still hope for this) and I would have been married to a boy from Windsor. This is a great life for some BUT, this plan for my life never really included anything about my career or about any interests that I’d have. It was a plan that I thought I was supposed to follow, not the plan that was meant for me. Truthfully, the last 5 years I’ve been so focused on my career that none of those goals are relevant anymore. I still want kids and a family…when I’m 35 and established in my career.
In reality, if I was still fixated on my plan from my teenage years, I too would be down on myself about being single. However, every aspect of my life has changed and by default every aspect of my perception has changed.
Round two – What’s that all about?
Between the ages of 25-35, all of our coupled up friends and strangers are approaching the ‘Sh!% or get off the pot’ phase. A.K.A – Get married or become a member of Round Two.
Round Two are the people who willingly or unwillingly have gotten off the ‘pot’.
Everyday great men and women who were once coupled up are getting out of relationships that they should no longer be in.
They could have been in a relationship with someone who was amazing, but they grew apart. They could have been with someone who was just horrible for them, but when they were 21 that person was the coolest/sexiest person at the party. Whatever happened, they are now back on the market.
So my single friends, we have nothing to worry about. We have the opportunity to meet other people like ourselves who have been run through the gutter, had their heart broken and have come out knowing exactly what they are looking for. AND in the mean time instead of being locked down with responsibilities (which for some is a wonderful option and they would not see it as being locked down), we have the chance to be 100% selfish. A stage in which every action we make can be about our own self-fulfillment and development.
For a reality check…here’s a list of what my life would have been like if I ended up with some of the people I dated when I was younger:
- I’d probably be a waitress (not that there’s anything wrong with that)
- I’d have to watch sports every night of the week (there’s definitely something wrong with this)
- I would have had to get used to burping at the table (ditto)
- I would have had to develop a blind eye when it came to fidelity…I mean infidelity (double ditto)
- I wouldn’t be in the ‘big city’ moving forward in my career (this would be sad, I love my job)
- I’d eat beef at every meal (I do love beef…but those poor cows)
- I wouldn’t paint or dance (the world may have been better off before it was subjected to my art…but we can’t win them all)
- I’d probably be a g-darnit cursing mother f-er (classy?)
So ladies/gents, quit being a Debbie Downer and take this time to focus on yourself. Go to an art class, spend too much money on dinner…travel around the world, because sooner than you think you will have met your Round Two, a new life will be upon you, and you will no longer be able to be 100% selfish ever again.