A few weeks ago myself and some friends headed to the cottage for a nice escape from the city. When we were there, a few of the dudes began talking about about all the terms the Porn industry has forever changed. For example: Happy Endings.
To me a ‘happy ending’ is how every Disney and romantic comedy ends – love and enchantment. Now-a-days it means something a little less innocent, and a little more ‘massaged’. AND since porn is everywhere (please note, I’m not really complaining, just pointing out reality) – late night TV, on your computers, on your phones – teenagers no longer have to sneak their older brothers Playboy’s under their beds or stay up really late to watch Baby Blue. What’s that all about? It’s everywhere now, there’s no effort into finding it anymore and because of this these terms are getting more and more tainted and are being used less and less in their natural form.
Anyway, here’s a list of a few other common terms that porn has in some peoples eyes ruined, and in others made better, followed by my ideal definition for each selected term:
Happy Endings – a kiss and a ride off on a unicorn
Facials – getting worked on to have really soft face skin
Pearl Necklace - an AMAZING gift
Fluff – marshmallow spread
Bear – cuddly and soft - ex. teddy bear, Smokey the Bear, Care Bears
Tag-team – an efficient partnership
Shocker - news you don’t expect – example statement: “they canceled Big Macs at McDonalds” example response: “whoa, that was a shocker”
Money shot – G-O-A-L, top right corner
Motor-boating – best line from the wedding crashers…this one stands as is
Squirt – Lemony type soda pop
Camel toe – a camels foot
So, now that I’ve encouraged you all to get your heads out of the gutter, try to come up with your own definitions for those terms. It really adds some enjoyment to your day.