In university, my roommates and I came up with a theory. Our theory was that in our long quest for love, essentially, we are looking for a Dolphin. You see, Dolphins mate for life. And since they mate for life and since we were mermaids, this all made sense. Right?
Holy crap, we were weird!
Anyway, one afternoon I was heading to the bus because I was skipping one of my classes when I ran into one of the girls and decided to go to her class instead. As I sat beside Melissa, I decided to write her a short story about her meeting her ‘dolphin’.
This is when the 3 Kinds of Men theory unraveled itself; I will explain:
The Dolphin is the kind of guy you end up with. He’s the guy who calls you back, buys you flowers, understands your craziness and loves you for it. The thing about Dolphins is that although you may have found a Dolphin, he may not be your Dolphin. If you discover this, you need to set him free as you are keeping a lovely Mermaid away from her MFL (mate for life).
The Shark is the playboy. He’s the guy who every girl wants and he’s probably already slept with half your friends. He’s openly a dirtbag and you can’t get mad at him for it. He owns it. If you do get hurt by a Shark, it’s your own fault as you saw all the warning signs…as in he told you that he has a million girls on the go.
There is a slight disclaimer with Sharks, some say that a Shark could stop being a Shark and become a Dolphin. I’ve never seen it, but if someone ever nails down George Clooney for good, then we’ll know.
The Swordfishes are the worst of the bunch.
You see, Swordfishes dress up in Dolphin masks. They start off with all the flowers, all the door opening, all the calling…BUT THEN the sharp edge of their nose cuts through the Dolphin mask and you are left with cuts and wounds all over your person. What’s that all about? Rather than being a Shark and owning their DIRTBAGGERY, they hide behind having a girlfriend all the while having ‘girls on the side‘.
Anyway…this isn’t for real. It’s just silly, early 20’s nonsense.
I’d love to hear the ‘3 Kinds of Women’ as a rebuttal.